Mr. Banjo

Click to enlarge. Gross.

whbfbdshafiubaewrifi

This one is old news... but I made two pictures for him:

On the particular dating site I've been using, the "about me" section requires a certain amount of characters. Yep. Apparently, this guy doesn't have anything else to say about himself.

SO MANY ERRORS

click to enlarge. I can't comprehend how someone is even able to make this many mistakes in such few words. Frankly, I find it just depressing.

wish

Holy Offensive Pt. 2

Should I have put a pointy, white hat on him?

Holy Offensive Pt. 1

This same guy claims to have a "socialpathic" cat.

Man Things

And he continues: "fish,hunt,ride 4wheelers"

soccer practice. 

Desperation

Country Boy

GROSS. Something tells me that this guy doesn't like gay people.

Packin'

UPDATE:

Banana Cream

gross.

Panty's

Your magic watch ain't working.

"Trial Separation"

I love this one. "I am in fact quite married. UPDATE currently in a trial separation."

PS: He is bigger than an insight universal remote. lolz

Black bae

Colories

We're going to sexersize those colories back off. He's from an island.

Don't waist my time!!!!!

This guy is full of awesome:

and also,

Sweet picture, by the way.

conceded

...but is he conceited?

Massage

Well, I'd rather be getting a massage than a message...

Woo

He's a Lady

ORLY?

I Wounder...

I keep cracking up at the scary face I made more than the fact that this dude is "woundering" and not "wondering".

Jesus?

...just sayin'

Hello, nam is tim

What a gansta

Persistence Doesn't Always Pay

In fact, you persistence is kind of creeping me out... especially considering the fact that I have not replied to any of your messages.

Lovey Dubby

Some Seriours Moring Wood

Submission from Amie. Click to enlarge.

SWM to the RESCURE!!

Domestic Violence

I am ALL FOR IT.

Fire Crotch

click to enlarge. i still can't figure out why the fuck someone would say that in an email... ?!

Submission from Amie

"bottem"

yipes!

The mysterious "we space"

He also wants to:  Engage in tantric sexuality, enjoy hot springs, soul-motion dancing and workshops.

Submission by Amie

lolz

Good Licker

 

Submission by Amie 

oh, and check out his sweet tattoo!

Gross

Lollipops

This guy has been watching too many romantic comedies.

?!

The Universe Within You

click it to see it larger.

-submission from Lily

Get up in that

 no.

Submission from Lily

Some "tounge" action

he's white

Win

wtf?

...you want me to what?

gorls

OK, this one didn't actually email me. I took the quote directly from his profile. To his defense, he doesn't seem like a bad guy... but that typo was hilarious.

Nature Walks

Out of all the creepy emails I get, imagine my surprise to find this! It's sweet but it made me burst out laughing. Nature walks... among 10.5, Pizza rolls, and Squirt.

Bomb

   ...but you have "Bomb" tattooed on your abdomen.